I can do this.

One week. breathe. breathe. One week and I will be home.

One week and one day. Each day brings me closer. I can do this.

the cat's out of the bag. . .

I am coming home a week early! I will be home a week from Tuesday! Can't wait!

It was supposed to be a surprise to the Barry. But two days ago I biffed it. I was webcamming some virtual auditions for the show I am doing this summer and I typed to someone about changing the rehearsal schedule. . . followed by 'it's still a secret.' I was saddened to read the response, 'not anymore.'

Apparently he was still in the room.

Well, I will know in my heart how cool it would have been.

Because of coming home early, I have a surprising amount of homework to get done. I am sorry for the absence lately on the good ol' blog.

I'll give you the abridged version.

*I have stayed up very late/ all night the last few days sitting in on auditions taking place in MN. They went very well and we have a great cast! Very excited.

*I have done a lot of work and have a couple finals this week, including French! Highlight from my last French class:
Pip reading with an apparently very bad accent: blah blah blah blah blah. . . .
Teacher: (pause, thinking) Will you be staying in France this summer to work?
Pip: No.
Teacher: Aaah, very good then.

Apparently, I am so bad that her breath would be wasted on correcting me.

*Burglary is still crappy. My mom's ring was small, so I thought maybe it would turn up when I started cleaning up but it is still nowhere to be found. I also lost all my small electronic thingers, so I guess there will be no more photo's of France! I will try to bum some off of people for you!

*So sleep is a big concern for me . . . how do you like this one? I apparently now have insomnia? c'est impossible! I have been working out a couple hours a day and I am wondering if it somehow affecting how much sleep I need? . . . I don't know.

*I have also been in conversations with my future employer and have decided to move up my start date to earlier this summer. I was very apprehensive about doing this since the breakdown early this year. However, by moving it up a month I get to work with the team I was on last year and with a product that I am really interested in. They are also going to let me work part time for the first two weeks to ease into it, which should also help keep me from overloading my schedule too much with the play. I am really trying to not take on too much.

*I got a letter from my grandma today!

So seriously people. . . who wants to go for a walk around Como when I get back? Can't wait! Can't wait! Can't wait!

accountability

My friend Joybells on intervention:

"I can see it now- the play, tennis, marathon training, the garden, sounds more stressful than a fultime job to me, and your meant to be taking time out. I'm calling you on it."

lucky girl- rescinded

uhh. So our apartment was broken into yesterday while we were all at school. Bummer.

Mostly it appears that the robber was looking for electronics, the most painful loss was Franky's lap top.

The most sentimental loss was my mom's wedding ring.


crummy.

anniversary traditions

Every year of our relationship I put into a photo slide show. This year it needs to be imagined a bit. Imagine some really campy music in the background. Ain't no Mountain High Enough? Maybe you could hum?

Photo's from the last year.

Sorry a little low tech. . .but it is the best I could do given the couple thousand miles I am working with!



Barry will be having thai food with his family tonight and watching our wedding video!

Here are my recommendations.

Rama thai delight
Coconut soup thinger
Pad Thai
Silver thread noodles

All level 1 spicy, otherwise you might go through gallons of milk again!

Have fun!

he said, she said

2 years, 2 perspectives.

He said:
Though Pip and I celebrated our anniversary last weekend, I HAD to post a little more.

After I was done with my meeting today I took a trip to CSB and went to the Idzierda House, where Pip lived when we started dating I didn't need to go in, but just being present there gave me the opportunity to sit and think for a moment. Sometimes you need to retrace your steps to understand where you are standing.

I realized how fortunate I am to have Pip in my life. Someone so beautiful, so amazing, whose image stays with me though she is thousands of miles away. Whose energy is contagious, whose laugh is full of joy, whose eyes speak in terms of dreams, journeys and love. She completes me and strives me on to better things. In short, she makes me smile.

I say this because I recognize what we've been through-- our joy from when we started dating to when we were in Monaco, relaxing and enjoying just being around one another and sharing in each other's strengths. Being able to stand gazing at the Paris sky with the one you love, then looking at Pip, in whose eyes reflected the lights of the Eiffel Tower, is an image I will treasure my entire life. When I think of that image, all pain seems to go away-- and I am filled with a sense of peace and love.

What is particularly exciting is being able to continue our enjoyment of our Paris spring in three weeks, when Pip returns. We'll be able to dance in our backyard, much like we did in the Idzierda house one fall evening; Pip will stretch in our living room, like she used to in the Idzierda House; and I will see her smile as I leave a random note for her, much like she used to when I left to go home for the week ahead.

Even now, as I sit an ocean away in random pain from stones in my kidneys, I know that Pip worries about me, and wonders about how I am handling it all. That concern alone helps me to deal with it, as no pain seems bad when you can share it with someone else, and her willingness to absorb it, makes me eternally grateful, and know I found the right person to spend my life with.

So two years down, and a lifetime of love yet to go. In view of our memories, and Pip's return, the best seems yet to come. Thank you, dear, and much lovies!!!!

She said:

I have been meaning to say this for some time. There are people who you know love you and there are people who you know love you. And then there is my husband.

Being here has helped me to understand the human experience in a deeper, more tangible way. I have also understood my relationship in a more meaningful way. It is my hope that love is part of the greater human experience.

When I say love, I don’t want to just say that is gazing at each other admiringly. This kind of love seems to have so many more dimensions. This love is full of memories, laughter, embarrassments and an honesty that only this kind of love can bring.
History, Presence and Future.

This is the kind of love where after five years of being together you still find surprise notes taped to the steering wheel and yet when you left, I knew there would be a note hidden in my room. This is the kind of love where you stay up until 5 am trying to understand the other point of view. This is the kind of love where you frequently comment on the dog’s bowel movements without flinching. This is the kind of love where you push each other to achieve goals that both of you know wouldn’t be possible without the presence of your complement. This is the kind of love where you both know that when dinner is spoiled to walk towards the car. Taco Bell is only 6 blocks away. This is the kind of love where you understand laptops in bed. This is the kind of love where kidney stones, cramps and depression are talked about openly. This is the kind of love where I get called down to the basement to watch a football play that “I am probably not going to appreciate but is so amazing that you have to see it anyway.” This is the kind of love where you play trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings after going to the ballet. This is the kind of love where you watch him sleep because you know that he doesn’t get enough of it and it is too important. This is the kind of love where you play naked dance, dance revolution because it really is too hot. This is the kind of love where words don’t seem to be enough. Where hallmark doesn’t always do such a bad job of explaining what you can’t seem to say, Dave Matthews does better but cummings takes the cake. This love is the kind of love where you pick your naked wife out of a bathtub when she has a bleeding toe.

Today especially I was reminded of the day two years ago when we made our relationship holy. I don’t use the word holy lightly, or even in the way you might think I mean it. Holy means so much more. I am often struck by the greatest gift I have been given. Him. Of all the people in this universe, he picked me to share his existence. There is no greater gift. He picked me and I picked him. We serve each other. Nothing could be more holy than that.

I am reminded by these words sung at our wedding.

Will you let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant, too

We are pilgrims on a journey
We are brothers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load

I will hold the Christlight for you
In the night-time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through


Love is not just gazing or kissing under the Eiffel Tower.
This kind of love is about service and journey.
This kind of love is amazing and holy.

I do hope that this love is the kind of love that is part of the greater human experience. I hope that this kind of love is for everyone.


lovies.

PS. We can’t dance in our backyard. We have a very large dog. Trust dear, it wouldn’t work out well.

shh

I have a secret.

ain-bray o-nay ork-way

There are times when my thoughts have a piercing clarity about them.

Then there are days like today.

The days where powerpoint occupies hours. The days where I spend 5 minutes playing with my mouse only to find that I haven't attached it. The days where I will be lucky to accomplish one or two things on my to do list. The days where there are far more than one or two things on my to do list. The days where I can't seem to prioritize my to do list. The days where the very thought of my to do list seems to invoke a chest-tightening, shallow-breathing panic. Take it slow. Break it down to one thing at a time. Take it slow.

Take it slow. It isn't just that the past few days have been anti-climactic . . . I just seem to be living in a perpetual fog. There seems to be the coming of something *big*.

Today I went to the gym, like I do most days, and during my run I kept sorting through my playlists looking for something. The search continued through the first kilometer. The second kilometer. The third kilometer. I am feeling something *big* and yet words nor music seem to shed light on it.

If my to-do list is any indication of what is going on in my life, maybe I need a mix called transition; a hodge podge of songs that seem to contradict each other. Maybe what I am feeling is some sort of Kelly Clarkson, Madonna, Bob Sinclair, Snow Patrol, Counting Crows, Ray Lamontagne, Dave Matthews, Ani DiFranco mix.

Days seem to disappear without notice and as I leap over the final hurdles of my scholastic career I am finding myself with less clarity than ever. Not unhappiness, not desparation, just foggy.

My lack of posting lately has been indicative of that-- and I think partially is that I need to slow the writing about what I am feeling and add a new topic-- people I love. More on that later today.

Who am I kidding. It will probably be tomorrow. maybe.

the day of the retorts

It isn't that I am in a bad mood. Not at all. I am having a major sarcasmo attack though. Not very life-giving. My head voice said things today like: "Nice hair," and "Yes sir, your bike is very macho."

Too bad my inner retort has no wit whatsoever.

Other things are going on- will report later!

looking back on a lovely weekend

My hubby was here this weekend and I have to say that it makes me so excited to go home. We had a great time and mostly because we didn't do a whole heck a lot.

We spent time in both Monaco and Paris. Great times people.

Great. Great. Great.

Favorite quote of the week-end . . .
Barry on hearing loss: "My grandfather had it, my father has it. . . I am pretty sure it's genital."
(pause)
Pip: "umm."
Barry: "That doesn't sound right."
Pip: "Pretty sure it's not." *

To keep things equitable, I won't only embarass the barrister. One major bummer from this weekend was the bathtub drain attacking my toenail. err.
I love baths. . . and in my eagerness I didn't see the drain at the bottom of the tub, hence I ripped off my toenail. At which point I had to call my cute husband to come help my nakedness out of the bathtub. ow.
Ow for the toe, ow for the ego.

Flickr Photos!

why can't every day be like this?

It can and it will.

The day started out brilliantly as I woke up with that nervous excitement in my stomach that reminded me of the feeling of field trip day at school. I could never sleep the night before the zoo. . . The barrister comes tomorrow and I CAN'T WAIT. So ready. . . so ready.

I woke up feeling like it was one of those days where you can create your own reality. I went to the gym rather promptly. I can waste hours a day thinking about going to the gym but not really going. But not today. . . today I meant business.

My gym is about 6 blocks from my house which are both in the center of Paris. I don't know my neighborhood all that well- especially not street names. Furthermore, I have NO SENSE OF DIRECTION WHATSOEVER. On the way to the gym 3 people asked me for directions. Do I look like I know what I am doing? Times this has happened in the past=0. France or US.

I then went shopping and found almost everything that I needed- included a pretty kick ass anniversary gift. Tell you later. . . .

I was doing so well and enjoying the city so much that I decided to go after another of my life goals. Today I saw a movie by myself. I am pretty sure the movie (Mission Impossible 3- not my first choice. . . but there was a limited choice of movies in English) was 'ok' but the experience nearly rocked my world. I don't know why I don't take myself out on dates more often. I am great company! The best part of today, is that I spent the entire day out by myself and didn't have to switch to English at all. Not even when trying to order a iced vanilla latte without sugar from the Starbucks. I tell you, when I take people on a date, I spare no expense. Money well spent I think, I hear I put-out.

I have to study for a quiz tomorrow. I don't know how I am going to concentrate because I am SO EXCITED!!

It is especially meaningful to have barry here now as it is the weekend that I would have graduated had I not studied abroad. It will be fun to have him here to join in my petit/ pre-mature celebration.

ho hum

Life is merrily rolling along these days. Today was a day like so many others.

I ran this morning and am glad to say that I am at about 5 miles a day which is a great place for me to start the summer. I love having the ability to just put on a pair of shoes and head out the door. I really need to be entertained while I run. Hence, no headphones, no run. similar to no woman no cry. . . but yet not at all. Today I listened to a couple of chapters of audio- Harry Potter. I am not a 'fan' yet per se, as much as I am curious what all the mcfuss is about. I am listening to book one. I will let you know. . .

I then came back, showered, ate some cereal and headed to Jouy for class. It normally takes 90 minutes to get from my apartment to Jouy but today it took 2. 5 hours. It was okay- I got work done but I was late for class. No worries, I grabbed a cup of coffee to walk into the classroom with. The French hall pass.

After class my French teacher offered to drive me home- which was an 'adventure.'
I then proceeded to stumble my way through our French conversation a.k.a. "small talk." I was trying to ask if she had family in the area- but instead I said "Do you live with someone?" and she said "Yes I live with someone." (pause) uh uh uh "Oh, that building is pretty!"

Maybe it doesn't look awkward when written- but in person I clearly felt that I asked a question that she didn't want to answer with her clueless French pupil. If I were in junior high, I would instantly create theories about her hidden love life. Who am I kidding, I am going to tell Joy about this tomorrow morning asap! . . Mature kid over here.

Also- I need some good anniversary ideas for the barrister. I haven't come up with any ideas that I LOVE yet. . . some loves. . . but no LOVE. I am especially in need of good gift ideas! please email me your thoughts!

listening

Suddenly I See
KT Tunstall


I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on a wire

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

ipod playlist:

• Paris

monday morning quiz- what is your french name?

I think we all know the REAL answer to this one.

Your French Name is:

Pauline Abadie

What's" Your French Name?

Please share your results! It keeps me entertained!

An interesting side note from Germany: It was the first time I said my last name without having to spell it!

Okay, but that's German- not French, sorry to derail the topic.

the switch

It is hard to believe that I have been here for three months already.

Before I left I had a running list of things that needed to happen before I left for Paris. Pick up shampoo, fill prescriptions, buy luggage locks, get a shirt drycleaned, see certain people, have one last X,Y,Z.

Shortly before I left, my friend/mentor/former professor, John laughed at me saying- "You know. . . they have stores in France, if you don't get something done, you can probably get it there."

Today I was walking home from the gym eating a very nutritious crepe and an Orangina purchased from a street vendor and I started thinking about what needed to happen before I left for home.

Maybe it was because I was doing something that has grown to become quite routine and realized that I wasn't even thinking twice about it. Buying a crepe 4 months ago would have been reserved strictly for a carnival dessert or a Sunday morning breakfast in bed type day. Crepes and Orangina is now as familiar a routine as stepping through the haze of smokers gathered outside the gym door. The routine is indicative of the switch from seeing there as home to here as home. Yet as soon as I put that into writing, I realize what a horribly correct and incorrect statement that is all at the same moment. Crepes are comfortable yes, but not 'home.'

With one month left here, I have realized how much needs to happen. School work yes, but also life work. The list isn't as simple as shampoo this time and I know that there are no stores in the US selling cheap fixes to the life lessons I am still in process of learning.

2 things concern me about my thoughts today
1. I can make crepes at home, but I don't think there is Orangina. That piece of France, might have to stay in France as it turns out that stores in the US don't stock life lessons or Orangina.
2. Why do people smoke right outside the gym, and why is there a crepe stand across the street? People?!?!

26 miles, 42 kilometer and 8 hours

and it is finished. I can now say that I have 'done' the Paris marathon. Granted it was walking but it was still followed by a much deserved bottle of wine.

all of germany. . . . or at least it seemed like it

A bit of Switzerland and Austria as well.


Random trip people.
Highlights:

I succesfully scammed Air France into letting me pass as a student under 24, which saved me a lot of money on my flight and was only slightly illegal.

We found 200 euros.

We rented an economy car and got a free upgrade to an Audi with a navigation system. We named her Claudia. (which seemed German.) Claudia had a pretty voice and was very polite when asking/ demanding that we make a U turn. "If possible, please take a right and immediately another right."
Yes, Claudia, Yes.

I drove on the Autobahn. I didn't kill anyone. yay.

Let me paint the above picture better, we actually drove all over the damn country- all the way from Munich through the black forest to Zurich and then back across the country to Salzberg. Lots of autobahning. We asked for passport stamps whenever possible to prove our trip. We were succesful some of the time.

I tried to get a group of German teenagers to teach us a German drinking song.
"Do you speak English? Will you teach us a song?"
"You are very beautiful. That is all."

The trip seemed full of the weirdest little quirks. We seemed to have very fortunate luck as well as the opportunity to experience very different sights. For example, Within 4 days we briefly hit up 3 countries, saw sun and snow, went to a concentration camp, the Sound of Music Tour, A castle, drove through the black forest and the alps and hit up one or two beer gardens.

It was as varied as the songs on the German radio. It was great though. It's a recommend. The trip to Dachau was an experience that deserves its own post. More on that to come.

Pictures posted here! Blogger isn't letting me add to the post directly- so I will have to add another post on it later with pictures. Use the link for the time being.

Thanks for the advice on the cities. It was really helpful in planning our trip and we tried to do as many things as time would allow.

Sorry it has taken me so long to do this post, I have had a lot of stuff going on over the last few days. I am going to hang out in the area this weekend. Tomorrow I am going to do the Paris Marathon! (walking. . . .) Joy and I thought it would be a fun way to see the city. I will let you know how that goes!

listening

Edge of the Ocean by Ivy

There's a place I dream about
Where the sun never goes out
And the sky is deep and blue
Won't you take me there with you

Ohhh, we can begin again
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again

There's a world I've always known
Somewhere far away from home
When I close my eyes I see
All the space and mystery

At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again

i pod: filed under the playlists

• Paris
• Conquer the World

hip hop hurts

there should be a warning- 'this class may be harmful to knees.' It turns out my knees don't spin like the other kids.

ow.


I didn't realize I would kneed knee pads for every class*

Yes, I realize I just posted a picture of my knees. Yes, I realize my taste is in question. At least I didn't post my underwear again.


*2 points for the pun

crunch time

With many of my friends in finals this week, I thought this picture was all too appropriate. I will probably write more after my nap. Yep, I am adjusting to a Parisien way of life just fine. Good luck with exams and final presentations!

life's lessons not yet learned

stIf you put your hair binders in the same place each and every day, they will be there each and every day.

Right. So I know this in my heart. Yet, I insist on scattering them everywhere so that I can have an adventure each and every day when I leave the house. Smart.

Well, adventures are fun right?

conversation

The Barrister got a new phone.


This was our conversation about the phone.

barrister says:
so I love my phone, did I mention that?
pip says:
good! how much did it end up being?
barrister says:
ehhh
pip says:
lol
barrister says:
it'll last me for 2 years
pip says:
that wasn't really the question. . . . i should blog this!
pip says:
no worries. as long as you are happy
barrister says:
it has google earth on it-- it gives you Metro stations in Paris! It won't work in paris but it is still cool. very Jack Bauer like.

monday morning quiz- what's your beer personality?

Just returned from Germany, Switzerland and Austria. . . more on that in my next post. This quiz seemed oddly appropriate.

You Are Corona

You don't drink for the love of beer. You drink to get drunk. You prefer a very light, very smooth beer. A beer that's hardly a beer at all. And while you make not like the taste of beer, you like the feeling of being drunk. You drink early and often. Sometimes with friends. Sometimes alone. All the party needs is you!

What's Your Beer Personality?