Say What? This can't be. . .
As a child I remember throwing an incredible temper tantrum in the Target Halloween Aisle because in fact- they did not make a Bob Barker Halloween Costume. My mom tried to convince me that cookie monster was a good choice. No way. They did have a nice Reagan rubber face- some creative thinking and my dad's sport coat might do the trick. But then there was still the skinny microphone to contend with, yes that would be difficult. No silver painted toilet paper roll would not do the trick, not with having the wrong mask and an ill fitting coat. . . perhaps a wand with the end cut off would pass. . .And then again maybe Bob Barker isn't as good as a princess. Yes. A princess would be a lovely choice. Wand intact.
Well Bob, I wish you well. . .
The folks at Best Week Ever had this to add in honor of the good man that inspired so many four year olds like myself:
10. The $100 bill he kept in his pocket. When someone in the opening game bid the exact right price, Bob would reach into his pocket and produce a reward of 100 bucks. So Grandfatherly, so warm. We imagine the bill smells like Werther’s Originals and pipe tobacco.
9. The Most Feminine Microphone in the Biz. It takes a real man to use a long, skinny mic like that.
8. The Ol’ “Let’s Check If You’re A Winner Fake-Out” Trick. Bob waits until the height of aniticipation, leans in the hit the revealing button to see if the contestant is a winner, then takes this opportunity to find out where the player is from, how many kids he/she has, etc. The audience groans, and fantastic television is made. This trick is most often employed during “The Dice Game” and “Spelling Bee.”
7. Female contestants kissing Bob on the cheek. We long to feel the leathery crevaced surface of his face brush against our quivering lips.
6. His laugh. Sure, most of the time it’s done politely. But ever once in a while, a contestant would catch him off guard, and he would genuinely crack-up.
5. Bob and his Plinko Stick. Back before “modern technology” created a clog-free Plinko board, every now and again one of the oversized purple chips would get stuck between the pegs. Such an emergency forced Bob to retrieve his Unclogging Stick (a long white baton), and finagle the chip from its Plinko prison. And he did it with ease, folks.
4. His G.I. Joe Helmet Hair.
3. Bob losing his patience. Sure, he’s a game show host, but he’s also a game show proctor. He’s the captain of the pricing ship! Meaning sometimes he has to hurry people along and ends up losing his patience. Often seen when people have difficulty coming up with a bid during the Showcase Showdown (”James, we need your bid.”) Best exemplified in the following clip of probably the dumbest contestant in Price is Right history.
2. The Creepy Old Grandpa You’re Glad Isn’t Your Grandpa. You couldn’t compile a list of Bob Barker related memories without bringing up the famous sexual harassment suit brought about by one of his Barker’s Beauties (and more would attest to the constant sexual and verbal abuse around the studio.) In a way, it kinda made us love the creepy old dirty bastard, though we were always grateful to keep our Barker-related fantasies filed under “Imaginations Only.” Try watching this clip of Bob Barker and his Beauties without picturing the four of them in some sort of Ancient Chinese mating ritual, we dare you.
1. Bob’s Signature Sign-Off. We hate to think of what the future holds for animal population control without Bob’s trademarked sign-off, “Have Your Pets Spayed or Neutered.” Will the new host adopt this phrase? And if so, will it feel completely phony? But what of the animals? Is anybody thinking of the animals?!?! Let’s reminisce for a moment, and watch the following non-intentionally hilarious video featuring Bob, some Clip Art, and a message of hope.