the end of the line

So friends, it has been some time. Hasn't it?
I start this post knowing that it will be the last: so here it goes.

To cut to the chase, I stopped blogging out of respect to a delicate situation. I have made a significant life change; Brev and I have separated. It didn't seem like something one should blog about. so. I. didn't.

But to be honest, there is no shortage of things that I haven't blogged directly about; my recent battles with depression, exhaustion, suicidal thoughts, multiple diagnosis, drugs, doctors, therapists, etc. I won't go into it all now, but I will say this: It has been quite a journey. For as much as I will honor that journey and its lessons, I am also glad to say that I am on my way.

In fact, I feel an eerie serenity about the way the universe is shaping my existence. The decision to leave really wasn't much of a decision at all: Doors opened, lighting crashed, burning bushes spoke, coincidences mounted and God said yes. I simply said yes too.

As a friend said; 'Sometimes the universe speaks. Sometimes it screams. '

In closing, I return to a picture that I posted a few months ago when I was in the throes.
A time when I couldn't separate a symptom from a cause.
A time when 'alone' seemed as much of a temperature as a symbol.
A time when I was positive I would never find my way out of Austin.

I now see this picture quite different: strong. independent. beautiful. the first sign of spring.

overheard

Working with high school kids is often more tiring than working with 8 year olds. I am this close (imagine me holding my forefinger and thumb 1 inch apart) from making them run laps before rehearsals in order to get them adequately tired.

However- the merits are pretty much awesome. I overheard this last night:

boy number 1: I have totally been shaving since June.
boy number 2: Right, but how often?
boy number 1: Once a week.
boy number2: Oh. I am already up to three times a week.
boy number 1: But the doctors say that I am only 80% of the way through puberty. . .so. . . .


I officially have a summer cast. . . holy talent batman. I won the directing lottery on this one. Last Saturday was spent listening to almost 100 performances by some pretty awesome talent. (and some not. . . one girl accompanied herself with her ipod.--ie. headphones. Honey, just because you can hear it doesn't necessarily mean that I can too.)

why high school theatre is fun

Meet "Baby Think It Over," the mechanical doll that interrupts rehearsal every 3 minutes to be "Fed." I have a super cool part-time job.

its official. . .

. . . It really is the perfect drink.

diet coke WITH vitamins. hell yeah.

back. . . but not really

Back from London-- yay! But I don't have a ton of time otherwise so I am not 'really' back. I will post pictures soon though- fun times had by all.

I know I do this to myself, but allow the minor venting session-- it is good natured in intent. . . .

So, I am now officially employed at 3 places. Cast list went up today and I start rehearsals Wed, with auditions for the next show in a marathon session on Saturday. Fortunately, this will only officially last for one month. . or until the teaching things is done. Final presentations finish on May 7 and God willing, I will be done with grading by the weekend after. . . which gives me 3 weeks to put up a play quick. No sweat.

At least I am lucky enough to be working at things that fill my heart with joy. Damn lucky.

what I will not be doing for an entire week

My boss kindly informed me that my laptop is not insured when I take it pub hopping across the pond. darn it all. V A C A T I O N

*Note this is an old photo, I like to call "Nerd with the Nerd Board."

PS. This is not my boss. In fact, I don't know who this is. I doubt he appreciates appearing on my blog.

idork

Does any one else get intense satisfaction from organizing the files in their itunes? I am pretty sure that I do not need every Michael Jackson song ever written or the untitled Enya selection. And, what could be better than "Barbie Girl?" How about "Barbie Girl-Extended"

Yes, yes, crummy post after a long absence. I be busy! (London, T-2 days)

former cellists unite

how gladys came to be

When you name a child you are supposed to consider any horrible nickname that might be thrown at your child in junior high right?

I am assuming dogs have similar adolescent angst.

Gladys was very nearly a Phyllis. On its own it seemed entirely harmless. When considering the overall family though we realized that celebrity nickname trend was going to be a problem. Whether its TomKat or Brandgelina, we all know saying two names separately is farrrr too much effort. So let's assume that we will slur them together. . .


Phyllis + Sophie= Philosophy. Fair. Kind of Cute. Ok. I buy.

Sophie + Phyllis= Syphilis. No. way. in. hell.

Gladys was the close number two, and the only negative comment we could imagine was some nasty pit bull calling her a "happy butt." There are worse things to be called. Plus we are SoGlad to have her in the family.

Rebel

Sophie TP'd our bedroom. I think I may need to rescind my comments about her adjusting well. She's not. In fact, she is acting out homecoming style.

land-o-boredom

Nothing is going on in this neck of the woods. . . nutting.

The new dog is adjusting- we are having a tougher time. Gladys has a bit of 'separation anxiety.' as in she cries everytime we leave her line of sight. Including the nights, when she cries when we put her in the kennel. Other than the sleep deprived state of zombie-dom we are loving her.

Sophie is adjusting better thankfully. Wait, one exception. Gladys is fascinated by Sophie's mouth-- especially her teeth. Sophie isn't such a fan when Gladys' entire self is dedicated to spelunking Sophie's throat. (Her entire head can fit in Sophie's mouth. ) I wonder if this is the pet equivalent of putting your fist in your mouth. Cool party trick.

for the love

Why does this dog refuse to pee outside?!

Tonight I have cleaned up 6 accidents and one pool of vomit. (Sophie must have eaten something, like part of Gladys' ear. jokes. all ears are intact. but vomit, yes. that was not a joke. guaranteed. vomit doesn't make a funny joke. no sirreee.)

We are making progress- Sophie is no longer glaring at the new addition- and has even smiled a couple of times. I think she is jealous of Gladys' obviously superior intellect. In 2 days she has already learned to recognize her name and where the treats are kept. That is about 2 years ahead of Sophie's development.

So, key realizations over the last couple of days-
*We didn't realize how much Sophie really wasn't a puppy until there was another puppy
*Indeed Sophie looks like the size of a horse compared to a puppy
*Sophie is absolutely the dumbest dog on the face of the earth
*Eric is convinced that his green robe is magic. Gladys really loves it. I am pretty excited because it is likely that I will finally be able to get rid of it!
*I do have enough love for 2. I think Sophie will too. eventually. maybe. God willing.

the more the merrier

Meet Gladys. The latest addition to the family.

Now Sophie has a friend !

Emeril Effing Lagasse

I can't be the only one with this problem. Target needs to take serious steps to pip-proof the directions. Does Taco Bell have a bulk discount rate?

Visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

hmm, theater

So I have two upcoming directing projects, one of which will require some 'research.' Roxanne and I came up with some options for how I would go about this. . .

I am assuming that there are books for this sort of thing. If there is not, there should be.
I can't believe I am Russian Dancing
Russian Dance for Dummies
The Russian Dancer in Me
8 Minute Russian Dance

Happy V Day

And by V, I mean " Valentine."

updates

We have 8 working legs in our household. No amputations yet!

Our friend Susanne was cleaning out her house a bit and gave us her family's antique piano! So cool. . . I have been advised that taking piano lessons would NOT be a good addition to my schedule. Maybe in the fall.

The business is coming along. . . We are narrowing down the area of focus and should have some updates for you soon. Please continue to send ideas our way but just know that due to other limiting constraints (time and money) and have decided that we will probably wait until the fall to make serious steps forward. Meanwhile, it is fun to dream. . .

All is good otherwise!

Stumpy

complaints

It took me 2.5 hours to get to work this morning.
I did not stop at Caribou on the way.
I had a diet coke. Which I put on the roof of my car while I was loading up to go this morning.
I hit a large chunk of ice backing out of the driveway this morning
I am pretty sure that the large chunk of ice was actually the diet coke falling from the roof of my car.
I have had far too much caffeine now, as I have been loading up since arriving mid morning.

I am off for New York this afternoon, so I will catch you all when I am back this weekend!